Onwards and Upwards
by SeSeesaw
Summary: Sam makes some changes


Onward and Upward

By (Se)Seesaw

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This was written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the author.

AUTHOUR'S NOTES: So I wrote this ages again but I never posted in on before so I thought I'd do it now. Apparently it wasn't beta read when back when when I wrote it but as ever I did try my best. There's more if you want it just let me know.

RATING: PG

&&&&

God! She was depressed. It had been a **_VERY _**long month, and now she had to decide. She had made a pact and she would stick with it. If nothing had changed by her 36th Birthday, then she would change it herself. It was now 12:05 and officially her Birthday and her time was up. In truth everything had changed already, in ways she couldn't imagine but SHE hadn't. Stuck as always, but now it was worse. So what was so bad about this month, year even, that was pushing her towards potentially the biggest mistake in her carrier. Daniel hadde-asended and all but dismissed her, so much for his concern. Sg-1 was basically no more – the Colonel had left. Well not left left but asked to be transferred to a less active role. He was now Head of the Alpha site relocation and Tactical Advisor. A transfer that otherwise might have been a blessing except for…….except he had transferred to spend more time with his son and wife.

Even now the memory burned bright in her mind. The wedding. She had gone like the good 2IC that she was. She bought a gift, toasted the happy couple, danced with Jonas and after she had spent the polite number of hours mingling she had slipped out unseen to return home. Alone and bitterly depressed. Her mind returned to the all-familiar route of "I wonder what he's doing now?" On honeymoon with his new wife and 2 month old baby. She didn't know where, couldn't bring herself to ask. He was happy though and she wouldn't deny him something she craved so badly for herself. Now, on her Birthday, they were all on downtime while General Hammond made his decision for a new C.O. He had already informed her that due to the fact that Sg-1 was the flag ship team of the SGC they would be looking for someone with a higher rank then Major. It was kind of him really to inform her so that she wouldn't spend even more time on wasted hope. It was pity though that drove him to tell her. She had seen the pity in his eyes, in everyone's eyes since the Colonel's happy announcement. It was one of the reasons she had avoided sneaking into her lab to do some extra work. She just didn't have the energy to put on a brave face, to save the world when it held so little happiness for her.

God, she really was depressed! Maybe that was why she was considering the offer. They had come to the door of the very home, in which she now sat and handed her the letter she now clutched in her hand like a lifeline. A black-ops team was being created off world in combination with the Tok'ra. Black-ops. She was well aware what it could do to you, Jonas her ex was proof enough, but still she didn't dismiss it right off the mark. She got why they had chosen to ask her. She had little to no family, hardly any friends, no husband or partner, no kids. She was dedicated and intelligent and had proven herself in combat. Perfect for the job really. Although the job itself was described very hazily in the letter. "Infiltration of Gouald ships and encampments for the retrieval of information, technology or destruction of enemy forces". Sounded easy when you phrased it like that. Didn't reveal any of the many dangers such actions held. No exploring benign planets or other cultures, only known Gouald populated planets on the list and instead of returning to earth like Sg teams, you'd return to a Tok'ra home world. She might even get to see Dad more often. The only real person left in her life except maybe Teal'c and she knew he would be fine on his own.

If she left now her 12 days of additional training would be completed and she'd be on active duty before Sg-1 was recalled. She would still be fighting the fight but now hopefully it would hurt less. It could hardly hurt more then seeing the man she loved with someone else, the friend she cared for like a brother brush her off, deneyed yet again a command, her achievements unacknowledged. She picked up the phone and dialled the number on the bottom of the letter. It rang twice before it was picked up.

Taking a deep breath she spoke

"I'm in"

"Transport will arrive at 15 hundred hours, have your belongings prepared" said the unknown voice at the other end of the line before it went dead. No one would miss her, not like she was inundated with callers over the past two weeks. Janet had phoned to cancel a lunch-date, something to do with an emergency. Not that she could blame her, she was still working after all but that sadly was the height of her social life. Teal'c went to see his family so he had an excuse but to everyone else she obviously didn't matter. Slowly pulling her weary body from her sofa she dragged herself to bed for a few hours sleep before she had to pack. She was no longer stuck in a rut, everything was about to change.

**14:50 hours**

Sam was standing by the door waiting for her lift. She had packed lightly. She knew better by now. A photo of her family, one of her, Janet and Cassie and another of Sg-1. A few basic toiletries, very few clothes (she doubted she'd get to wear them) and some underwear was all she carried. So she waited. Jonas had rung earlier that day. She didn't answer it preferring the machine to talk for her. He had wished her a happy Birthday (sweet really) and said Janet sent her love but neither of them could make it tonight. Sam had forgotten about her Birthday dinner with them, maybe at the back of her mind she figured they wouldn't make it anyway. She had received no word from Daniel, Cassie or Mark too busy it seemed. Glancing at her watch again it was 14:58. Butterflies churned nervously in her stomach but it was too late to back out now. The shrill ring of the phone interrupted her thoughts. She glared at the offending object as the answering machine clicked in. Someone cleared their throat and suddenly the Colonel's voice filled the hall.

"Hey Sam, just ringing to ah….wish you a Happy Birthday. You must be out with Janet or something…."

A pause followed and outside Sam saw a black car pull up. She opened the door and stopped to hear the end of the message.

"Well call me when you get in, you have my mobile number. Bye Sam, see you soon"

With that she closed the door and walked towards her new life, not stopping to look back on the one she was leaving behind.

&&&


End file.
